I had a meeting planned with a new agency client and researched as much as I could about him online before the big day. I couldn’t figure out how best to pronounce his name though. I assumed he was English, but I thought he looks Mediterranean, and his name is quite popular in Spanish-speaking countries. I thought I would use the Spanish-sounding version of his name. First impressions count right?
We met at reception, and I greeted him. Turns out he prefers the shortened English-sounding version of his name, not even spelt like his full name at all, whoops!
If a hole had opened before me at that point, I would have jumped in.
From that embarrassing first moment, which we both had a laugh about, he went on to tell me stories of how other people get his name wrong all the time. And because his background is so ambiguous, he often has clients speaking to him in different languages too. Like the time he was in a meeting in Italy, and everyone thought he was a local and so started speaking Italian at him. He couldn’t understand a word of what they were saying. He’s English and from Sarf London! I used to live in Sarf London back in the day, so we chatted about that for a bit, then secondary schools, his nice new shiny office, the view…
Next time we met I called him by the English version of his Spanish name. Said client has become one of my biggest supporters.
Why the fuss then over having one’s name mangled? It could lead to learning something new and finding some common ground leading to, well, who knows.
This is true. This could happen and it does, but what if your name gets mangled on a daily? What if every time you run into ‘you know who’ they call you by their ‘shortened-version’ of your name?
How does someone who constantly has their name mangled feel?
Here is the other perspective: “If a person can’t make an effort to learn my name, then they have no respect for me or my culture.” Anon
And:
“Even with a middle name that’s literally pronounced as it is spelt, people changed it to ‘Abdi’ - a popular Somali name. I am from Eritrea. When I had had enough, I started using my first name and it is almost hurtful to admit how much easier it made my life,” says, Abraham Abbi Asefaw.
We are going to get people’s names wrong of course, it’s human to fuck up. If you do don’t be a shit about it. Ask your new friend to say their name for you until you get it. And if someone mangles your name, do give them a bly from time to time if it feels right.
It’s at this point I would like to apologize to those whose names I have mangled in the past and will in the future. I will be following my own advice above. I also have no excuse, except that when we meet, I’m usually thinking on which one of my five accents or dialects I should speak to you in!
Over to you.
What’s your view on name mangling?
How did mangling someone’s name change your life?
Does having your name mangled annoy you no end?
Best wishes,
Sherry Collins
