Adebimpe (Ade) Ogunmokun / Mama Soj to friends and family
I was born in Ilesha, Nigeria, the historic capital of the Ijesha people, who are part of the Yoruba tribe. My father, Owa Biladu III “Fiwajoye” Adelupo Ogunmokun, was the Oba (king) of my hometown, which makes me a princess. He had 16 children with seven wives, but I was the only child born to him and my mother, so I grew up very spoilt (in a nice way).
Cooking has always been my passion. I loved home economics at secondary school, so my teacher recommended sending me to the UK for catering training. I came to London in the early 1980s, with my younger step-sister. There was no problem settling into London life: I’m a very sociable person, so I had lots of friends to go out with.
My dream was always to return to Nigeria and open my own hotel. But during my training, I met my late husband. Unfortunately, our marriage broke down and he left before Joseph was born. I realised I was never going to go back and do what I wanted to do. Instead, I worked at the Museum of London, in the Cabinet Office, and for Haringey Council.
I never experienced discrimination until I worked for the council. That’s when I realised there was [racial] inequality, even though all their posters said “equal opportunities”. Every time I applied for a vacancy, they turned me down, with no legitimate grounds. In the end, I couldn’t keep quiet. I told them I didn’t spend thousands of pounds on my training for them to pick my brain and then give the job to someone else. Finally, they offered me the opportunity to be my own boss, as the catering manager at Greig City Academy.
My greatest joy in life is my children and grandchildren. Joseph was always so happy and helpful. He did well at school and was very popular, but during his A-levels, I was diagnosed with mental health issues and had to take early retirement. Joseph never finished his exams – he became a carer for me and his younger brother.
At first, I wanted him to be a lawyer, because his father was a barrister. That’s a very Nigerian thing, if your father is a doctor, you have to be a doctor... But I’m so proud of him. We talk about his career in advertising and I tell him: “Take any opportunity that comes your way.” Now he has a new job at Mother and I know it’s just the beginning of even more great things to come. I feel like I have raised a gentleman, someone who is always ready to help people.
Before the pandemic, I loved travelling and visiting my family in America, Canada and Nigeria. Last year, I went back to Nigeria for our 40-year secondary school reunion. I also love reading, and I still cook: mostly British food, but also Nigerian dishes like Ewa Riro (stewed beans), pounded yam with Egusi soup and, of course, Jollof rice!
What happened with my marriage and my mental illness does sometimes make me think: Why me? But I don’t have any regrets.
The future I hoped for was to have good health and be able to enjoy my children and grandchildren. My hope for my children is for them to care deeply about their community and those around them, to have successful careers and loving homes, and to reflect the positive life lessons I taught them onto their own children, so that they may play their own part, however small, in making the world a better place.
Adebimpe Ogunmokun: Mother of Joseph Ogunmokun / Producer / Mother
As told to Selena Schleh.
